He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
