we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
