You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
