is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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