i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
