i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
