I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
