I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
