I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
