i just google imaged poop.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
