whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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