nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
