It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
