I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Panties = found
Randomize
