Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You made out with two different species that night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
