Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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