Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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