Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
