yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
