how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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