if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
