We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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