Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
