i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
