We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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