hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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