If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
