did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
