Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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