It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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