It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
