after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
third nipple confirmed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
