we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
