Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
