he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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