tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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