Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
