Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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