i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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