The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
