i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
