I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
