I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize