I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
