Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
