Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
