New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
