just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
