i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
