I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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